Thursday, August 11, 2011

Jealous Longhorns, Excited Aggies

With all of the rumors swirling about Texas A&M going to the SEC, a lot of Bevos are ass-hurt that people aren't talking about them for once. And in typical Faghorn fashion, the condescending cheap shots at our excitement have been in full effect.

They all say that Aggies are jealous of the LHN. NO one is jealous of that narcissistic money grab. We are angry about it because it is clearly cheating, you fucking idiots. If we go to the SEC, it'll be a more honest financial gain than pairing with a conglomerate sports network. THAT'S MIGHTY ELITIST BEHAVIOR FOR AN INSTITUTION FROM TEXAS. The SEC will be a tough transition competitively at first, however, Sherman can adapt and begin to recruit even better than he has. An SEC transition would be huge for A&M recruiting within Texas, where UT cheats to no end to secure top recruiting classes. But it's ok, most of those players' careers are ruined due to the pussy ass pampering they do with their athletes. See VY's life since leaving UT and Colt crying on national TV.

Longhorns are currently the jealous ones, as they got their asses whooped several times last season, including the glorious, DOMINANT victory by A&M IN Austin. Then again, winning in Austin isn't saying much, seeing as how it the softest city since San Francisco and the "fans"...well...let's not get me going on those wannabes. Not only are their stinkholes still sore from those beatdowns, but they are not the talk of the nation as they usually (and undeservedly) are. So good, sit in the passenger seat and shut the fuck up, FOR ONCE, if you people even know how to do that.

As much as you Bevos want to forget last year and move forward with your gay fuckbuddy ESPN and horrendous man-child the LHN, I'm here to tell you this: I will not forget last year, as it foreshadowed this season.

The Longhorns WILL lose to us at Kyle Field this thanksgiving. But after the beatdown of Ricky Bobby aka Garrett Gilbert and the Faghorns is when the REAL fun begins.

If Geoff Ketchum shows up this year to Kyle Field to watch the Longhorns lose to ME and the A&M football team, I have a little event/fantasy I'd like to organize. Not that Ketchum has a REAL rooting interest in UT (he went to Sam Houston State or some shit...he's also a plus+++++++ size blogger for school he didn't go to), but since he keeps insisting...
I think Ketch is the little black one on the left.
Ketch, I'm want to bukkake you at Kyle Field. I don't need a gang(bang) of Aggies to help. I'm going to abstain from sex (sorry baby), and unload months of little Chives babies all over your hopes and dreams.

You and all of your shit-talking Bevos who never seem to get enough venom spit at you, are going to get ridiculed like this after every UT loss. I don't care if A&M loses that week too (unlikely), because the simple fact is, I personally find more enjoyment from watching UT lose then A&M win. Watching millions of fake ass fans, like yourself, get so upset over something that shouldn't matter to's like doing every drug known to man all at once.

Final Thought:

The hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life was to keep this article from being an all-out destruction of UT "fan." But seeing as how the football season is about to start, I'm sure that'll be a blog post for another day. Soon.

Also, I heard the LHN commercial in the background about 10 times while writing this. So yeah, #FuckUT.


  1. Noooooo!!!!! Don't you waste us on that flabby fuck!!!
    -Chives' Jizz

  2. Ketch is so fat, even his picture runs into the side bar.