Aggie Ring: I Just Wifey'd Texas A&M

Here is my journey into my ring confirmation meeting AKA the engagement between the snow bunny of my stable and I.

These are on pillars leading up to the door...I likes em

This is an exact replica of what I will be wearing in a few months

Legendary Kyle Field in the not-to-far distance

My experience with College Station has been one of way few ups and countless downs. Today was the highest of ups (heh). As you all know, I am not your typical, Gig-em-Howdy-Damnit-Aggies. No, my friends....Chives is his own kind of Aggie. I'd like to think I'm the all-time greatest Aggie ever, kind of like how Dennis Rodman was a great rebounder.


I am the Dennis Rodman of Texas A&M. Dennis is a Hall of Famer, bitches.

I can't say how proud this made me. #FuckUT #ChivesGospel in full effect at Texas A&M

For all my Kansas City folk, this picture was taken with yall in mind.

I know what all of you are imagining you could watch on this behemoth.

#ChivesGospel

DANCE FOR ME, HONKEY
*PEW PEW PEW*

The Yell Leaders tradition is something I hate. I am embarrassed. There's MORE than enough sorority whores to have a normal cheerleader squad.

I teared up a little bit at this point. I AM VICTORIOUS, CROWN ME.

Obviously had to add this. James Earl Rudder was BY FAR the best thing to ever happen to Texas A&M, and the entire Brazos Valley. That is, until the Chives arrived here.

Then, it gets a little shameful:

We couldn't get a cool president like Grover Cleveland? Who the fuck took Millard Fillmore's presidential library?

Cockslap whoever describes Rick Perry as a "knightly gentleman". I was under the impression even Aggies were sick of this jackass. #Bush2.0

This guy was governor of Texas when he became president of Texas A&M. I'm sure he owned slaves well past 1860. Also, he bares a strong resemblance to my friend, SECguy.

This is a tradition I wish was still around. I wish I could have witnessed this once as a student. Damn. RIP.

#FuckUT #BevoTheBitch One of the stupidest fucking mascots ever. I am repulsed every time he gets camera-fucked, then very hungry. I will eat a Bevo #alicebucketlist

This was an awesome experience for me. If I could thank anyone, it would be me. This is my triumph. I made the sacrifices it took to get this ring. No classmates, peers, friends, no one...this is Chives*. Thanks to EVERYONE who has said anything to me. That shit means the world to me.


*It goes without saying: I am nothing without my family and their belief in me. No matter how little faith I have in myself, they won't let me give up. Chives could be president of this country if that position still had any honor or soul left.