Monday, January 23, 2012

Tim Tebow the Terrorist

Tebowmania: Turn on ESPN, and in between Heat updates and the Not Top Ten, there will be a minimum 10 mentions of Tebow.

When Tebow was completing long passes against the Steelers, there were the 9000 tweets PER SECOND discussing it. He was only 10/31 in that game. He's so bad, but there's no denying the guy is a competitor and probably not as big an asshole as many of his peers.

As for Tebow's success late in games: you know what scared teams do late in a game when they have a narrow lead? They play a prevent-style defense, which allows even the most incapable of QBs to dink and dunk you to death. Tebow is more than capable of completing those passes and then bulldozing his way in for a score, and another week of unwarranted spotlight.

The spotlight is heavy on Tebow's all-American smile and blue eyes, and don't think for one second that this attention is an accident. The NFL has another Peyton Manning...not in skill, but in marketability.
That's a MEAN happy trail and farmer's tan Tebow is rockin'
Tebow's faith is a huge reason that the attention he gets annoys people to so much - he's obnoxiously Christian. Its no coincidence that we are sick of him, the media doesnt give us a break from himit was true with Terrell Owens and LeBron James. Tebow puts his faith in your face every time he opens his mouth. He starts and ends every reporter's question with something like "God bless." Tebow is constantly trying to prove to us HE is Jesus's number one groupie, AND NOT YOU. People are blinded because he doesn't get arrested in strip clubs like Vince Young.

This country's media will hand pick stories and people it prefers and over-cover them. Then, it identifies stories and people it doesnt care for, and then it spreads hostile propaganda for Harvey Updykes and Haley Barbours across the country. America's number one victims of this vile practice are Middle Eastern and Arabic Muslims. They are demonized as a violent and uncivilized group of heathens, which couldnt be further from the truth. The media has nothing to gain by accurately portraying usthe message is clear everyday of the year: They are the enemy, fear the A-Rab. Uncle Sam.

All of that said...what if the media's darling, the angelic Tim Tebow, was a Muslim? Let that marinate. Since Americans are incapable of thinking reasonably when they hear the word "Muslim," let me educate you sheep.

You would all hate his motherfucking guts. If Tebow replaced every single "God Bless" with "Allah Akbar," you people would shit yourselves. You should know that "Allah Akbar" translate directly to "God the Great." Allah is not a Muslim god or something; its just an Arabic word for "God." 90% of the people reading this KNOW that and choose to act like fucking morons. Harvey Updykes would send death threats to Tebow and any media outlet that dared give him attention and a platform to freely express his Muslim spirituality.

Next I want you to imagine Tebow doing a Muslim gesture of sorts after his TDs, instead of kneeling down on one knee. Can you imagine how (unfairly and assuredly) fans would throw beer and trash onto the field? Twitter would explode, calling Tebow a sympathizer of terrorism." Islam is the most misunderstood religion in the history of man, and all of that distortion occurred after 9/11. I don't remember the media having a vendetta against white trash after McVeigh killed AMERICAN WOMEN AND CHILDREN. Every April, there's hardly a mention of the anniversary of that horrific event, which was politically motivated and therefore an act of terrorism. I WONDER WHYoh yeah, it's because white American people are the most blindly racist group of people to ever live.

If Tebow was as overtly Muslim as he is with being a Christian, the differences in those two parallels are really unimaginable. I can't fathom an American society that would embrace a public figure if he were Muslim*. Not only would Tebow's accomplishments be a moot point, but he would get the Pacman treatment, which is assuming evil and inferiority in someone.

If you would still love Tebow if he were a Muslim, youre either a liar or a morally good person.  

*Muslim Barack Obama doesnt count.


  1. Hmmm. Then he would EXplode during the dame instead of IMplode.

    Interesting thought. :)

  2. People embraced Ali and Kareem, so I doubt the "Pacman treatment" is applicable.

    This is a nation that predominately claims to be Christian. Would he be *as* popular? Hard to say for sure. He was a Heisman-winning QB with a winning smile and penchant for charity. While all of this is a refreshing break from the Sam Hurd/VY/TO reputation that pro-athletes have, the over-coverage is the issue I take with Tebow. If I am being honest with myself, I cannot really take that out on Tebow himself. I find most people who are “fans” are more of a fan of the fact that he is “wholesome” (read: not your typical prima donna). Most people will do anything to avoid the topic of religion unless it is to tickle their own ears (see: Joel Osteen).

    I recently read the question "What if Tebow were black? Would he still get that coverage?" Answer: Lebron.

    We have had to endure a year-long national nightmare of Tebow Coverage. I believe that, were Lebron not an absolute d-bag, he would still be finding his way into the conversation much in the same way that we are still talking about Tebow. He is a decent-looking athlete with the ability to don the media-friendly personality. Why is he falling out of the spotlight? He failed. Now there are flaws that people accept. Tiger Woods was the same. If you thought there was a flaw in Tiger's game 5 years ago you were branded as a racist. The different between Tiger, Lebron, and Tebow is that the first two possess an other-worldly talent but I digress. All three were as American as apple pie until their flaws hit the news. Now they are as American as the politicians that get elected to represent America. Irony is fun.

    I have more of a problem with ANY religion popping a squat in my sports. Not because I am godless. I am a Christian who takes his faith seriously ( there’s twitter...but I do my best). I take issue with Tebow-types of any faith for trying to pretend that God gives one good-him-damn about sports.

    Now as to your point about McVeigh/Americans… Stay away from absolutes like “the most.” I could cherry-pick any number of examples where Nationality X was “the most” to start a back-and-forth as to who is "the worst" and we would end up nowhere. I think we have covered this, but racism is not an American problem. It is not a Muslim problem. It is not a Christian proble. It is a human problem. Ignorance is the root and it feeds itself of the notion that some people are born better than others which is a most illogical notion.

    The same ignorance that convinced Hitler that he was in charge of a master race. The same ignorance that convinced Crusaders that they were more entitled to a piece of the ground. The same ignorance that convinced the terrorists that ‘infidels’ were worthy of a plane hitting their building.

    All of these are just different flavors of the same bitter reality: Man is not fit to guide even his own step (Jeremiah 10:23). An easy solution is to blame religion and you would not be far off. Some people blame God himself, but more accurately, what man has done in God's name is the real atrocity. Shhh! The Bible does not condone war, but dont ask the Pope that.

    Enough rambling... I hope this made sense....