This will really make sense if I give y'all some (embarrassing, very revealing) insight in the mind and history of Chives:
I have lived in College Station for around four years now. Each year is significantly different than the previous one, but there are constants. As most of you know, I basically HATE College Station with all of my heart. This wasn't an overnight decision to consciously hate the place where I live, but rather years in the making.
To this day, I have had the single worst social experience a person can have in this town. I have tried being myself, somewhat like Them, and literally everything in between….redneck crackas gonna hate The People no matter what. Only when you succumb to Their pressures, will They accept you.
I have changed every year since living here in some way, mainly in my mental processes. But I am who I am, and some things are irrational to try and adjust, especially if it is just to fit in with people I would rather see dying of cancer.
Naturally, I had to find ways to occupy my attention. The second semester of my freshman year was the period of time that smoking all day everyday came into play. Prior to this, it was once or twice a day, or however many times a week. I am not an active/outdoorsy person. In fact, I absolutely hate any discomfort from heat and hate all bugs even more. No A/C? Fuuuuck outta here.
So lets recap: Chives is a stoned loner who likes to stay inside. Guess what I gravitated to…? TV. Now…Im not talking about The Big Bang Theory type nonsense….I like QUALITY TV (coming soon: massive blog post about this specifically). By the time I was a freshman, I still was very unfamiliar with the show, The Office. I knew it was good, I knew it had a huge following, but was I already so behind that I just never got into it. My brother ended buying seasons 2 and 3 on DVD and let me borrow them at one point.
I literally watched those two seasons of The Office more times than I will admit. Everyday I would come home from a stressful day on the grind at Blinn College, load up a bowl (when I still smoked bowls…and pipes), and have the DVD player queued up with classic scenes like this. I would be in some boring ass class, thinking to myself, I can't wait to get home, turn on The Office, get super fucking blazed, eat big and nap the fuck out." That was motherfucking HEAVEN as far the ChivesGospel is concerned. Ah…times were so simple: Classes were so inconsequential; I still had homies in Houston; Smoking was just one or two quick processes. NOW? I'm more aware of all the BULLSHIT in the world, classes are overwhelming, and smoking takes a LOT longer.
The feeling of comfort, pleasure, and sheer HAPPINESS that I felt during the above scenario, is something that has never been rivaled. I know I know…pathetic. When you're battling depression daily, as coaches always say, "a win is a win."
So I just saw the hour-long episode that looks to be the last episode of Michael Scott. Every time I think of The Office, I am GUARANTEED to instantly think of allllll the times I rode this very couch, weed in hand, and me watching Jim pull pranks on Dwight. Watching Steve Carrell's last episode definitely brought back those memories of being alone with nobody but myself (I have my dog now). I'm at a point in my life where I've lost literally my best of friends. Watching this specific episode of The Office had several thoughts and emotions running through my mind as I watched Michael say goodbye to the office for the last time….I feel that I have just done the same thing as Michael, except I am doing in way to early in my life. I feel that, like Michael Scott's decision to leave his entire life in Scranton and start in an entirely new place, I am doing the right thing by just moving on from lifelong friends rather than reconcile. However, I am not in my 40s like Micheal. I am only 21. I have done a whole lot of nothing in my time inside Mother Earth's polluted twat, and by dismissing the few people I know, I may be damning myself for another 21 years of nothing.
Now, The Office is just a show and Michael's departure was strictly due to external influences. My life is real with internal and external influences. But let's pretend for fuck's sake that it isn't. Michael loved working at Dunder Mifflin and all of the people he worked with (exclusive of Toby) in his hometown of Scranton, PA. I loved my little routine and the friends I had in my hometown of Houston. Michael and I both left to start the next chapter of our lives. The difference…I did not want to move on from my life in Houston. Ergo, the difference between me and Michael Scott was the general outlook and approach of leaving.
I definitely fucked up by coming here, but lots of positives have come from it. As Steve Carrell leaves The Office, the show will without doubt be completely different. Unlike most people I have seen on Twitter, seems like they are ready to Old Yellar this show. Fuck y'all. I am not ready to let go.