Nike: From The Cheap Seats

"Fiscal year 2010 showed the value of staying focused on our core strengths.  Innovation and inspiration are not tactics at NIKE, they’re a way of life. In a year of significant macro-economic challenges, NIKE, Inc. delivered record profitability and continued to expand our competitive separation across the portfolio.  We finished the year strong with clear opportunities for growth and in our best financial shape ever. "

This is directly from the overview of Nike's 2010 annual report. Sounds like the sports-fashion conglomerate is doing pretty good for itself…lets look at some of the highlights of their financial statements:

Revenues of over $19Billion

Net Income of nearly $2Billion

Stock Price in 2006: Just over $40 a share…Today: floats at or above $80 a share

Sitting on about $5Billion in cash and other highly-liquid assets.

Now…Nike makes a good product…well…children all over Asia make a solid product. On top of that, I wouldn't mind wearing a Nike product, as I'm sure most of you would take a pair of whatever-the-fucks Nike is selling for over a $100 a pair. Nike has incredible marketing operations, kids at the youngest ages are in love with whichever athletes Nike has branded the Swoosh onto. Like I said, Nike has a lot of nice shit in the fashion department, but it feels like everyday I go into the App Store, they have some new workout app to help meatheads and self-conscious girls. Basically, if it is in any way athletic, then Nike BEEN HAD pimpin that shit. 

To the other side of the spectrum of materialized brand-name footwear: Tom's. Apparently this company donates a pair of its shitty looking, and low-quality shoes to needy kids. Now…these fucking shoes cost $50-$80 a pair…which would normally be outrageous. But assuming that this huge markup helps send the same pair of shoes to needy children is…admirable. I respect the initiative, the creative idea, and the success that the company has found trying to accomplish its fundamental goal.

Could you pay me with unlimited blowjobs to wear those faggy hipster shoes? Not even. Money? nope. It simply wouldn't happen. Air Force Ones? Yeah I can fuck with thems. 

According to the WSJ, Tom's Shoes generated an estimated revenue of $33Million by, at the latest, April 1, 2010.

Soooo Nike…how is it that in a record year of business and growth, are you not doing this on even a small percentage of your sales? Nike's mission may not be to help needy kids, but lets be honest: Nike is a company with a reputation of slavery, a little bit of charity beyond the shit that they donate for tax purposes could go a long way with Nike's assets and human resources.