Seinfeldian Mock Draft '11 - Chives's Big Board

Like most of you, I spent about 5 hours listening to 1560TheGame's big event today, the Seinfeldian Mock Draft. Every year, it feels bigger and bigger....it just sounds more cohesive and fluid. This year had a lot of picks that cracked me up, including, but not limited to:

• Frank Bullington picking the word "Fuck" 
• Hatchetman drafting Tugjobs
• David Nuno with the people's pick - first the epic shoutout, then the Release from Houston's Cursed Sports Teams
• Brian Beckner entertained with the drafting of Texas
• The nerds Tyson Mosley and Chance going after The Force

It's kind of hard to listen to something like this for 4 years, and NOT have some good ideas of your own. Especially if you're this guy - stoned and hopped up on caffeine at the same time - the mental pistol just shoots off rounds like I was some kind of cop in a major American city. I really think that a lot of what my mind conjures up (or perceives) as funny, is only funny to me. However, Twitter has shown me that there are always like-minded assholes like me, laughing at jokes about AIDS and Jews.

So here it is, in no particular order:
    •    Soul Power
    •    A puppy's ability to pull really hot girls
    •    The info stolen from the Playstation Network breach
    •    Barack Obama's Birth Certificate
    •    Gordon Gecko
    •    The Russian from "Rounders"
    •    The rape scene from "Pulp Fiction"
    •    Racial Slurs
    •    John McCain's Birth Certificate
    •    The Deepwater Horizon
    •    Auburn's dying tree
    •    Synergy
    •    The porn section…of anywhere/anything
    •    Stevie Wonder's sight

I had MANY more potential draft picks, but I can't give all my good ideas to you degenerates. This is just a taste of the Miami Heat-like roster that I could put together. This is my BENCH squad. I could out-pick the Patriots in the draft game if I had a beer. I am unstoppable on alcohol, but I saves da drinkin for special occasions dohhhhh (AKA a weekend in Houston).

BTW...I dont give a fuck if Frank Bullington drafted weed...I AM THE WEED. Do you remember Hakeem Olajuwan as a Toronto Raptor, or the Houston FUCKING Rocket that he will ALWAYS be in the hearts and minds of The PEOPLE. Sorry Frank, time to pass the reigns to a new pair of Guerrilla Lungs. THAT SAID, I can't express how awesomely constructed @FBullington's SMD roster is. Brilliant. It's almost too simple, but then again that's what makes something great (coughAPPLEcough).

I may make a post commentating my big board, and the 32 picks altogether. We'll see.