Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Tressel, Ohio State: Tattoo-gate, Weed-gate, Car-gate

I gotta admit - this mess that has fallen onto Jim Tressel and Ohio State's collective lap is awesome.

I want nothing less than the total annihilation of the Ohio State athletic department. Not a single goddamn person needed this recent controversy of the last few months to see that OSU spoiled their slaves, er um "student athletes", more than the typical big college football program. Media outlets never want to question how stupid some athletes act. They seem even less prone to call out collegiate athletes.

We all knew Terrel Pryor was going to be an arrogant, stuck-up prick, piece of shit, spoiled, smug motherfucker that he is now. If you thought that Pryor was the good ole boy competitor that every ESPN dick-rider described him as, then I think you're a huge dumbass.

I get the same vibe from Pryor that I got from Vince Young and Cam Newton. Generally poorer black kids, boosters spoiling them with all the things their favorite rappers blab about, and getting pussy from blonde white girls that normally would call the cops on them. There were differences in the way these guys played the game, but they all scored a perfect 100% on the Prick-Asshole Test. Here's my brief breakdown on their athletic differences:

  • Vince was by far the most prolific athlete of the faggots. As poor a passer as he is, like Tebow, he was more than serviceable as a college quarterback. Combined with the vision while scrambling and such, and you got yourself VY: one of the most exciting college players ever. That said, I hate him more than any athlete ever.
  • Cam only had one real year for me to critique. He's a big, strong and fast motherfucker just like Vince, but not quite the athlete. I think Cam was a better passer, but now that he has around $50million coming his way, I have total faith he will be a piece of shit like VY...or more likely JaMarcus Russel.
  • Pryor fucking sucks. He does nothing over all these years that really impresses me. Average passer; has the luxury of literally standing in the backfield/pocket for as long as he wants before throwing some touchdown on a busted coverage. He doesn't seem to be the fastest guy, considering the way he looks; no real acceleration when he takes off. What I'm saying is this: he looks amazing due to his offensive line and the defense being forced to focus on multiple skill positions beyond Pryor.

Let me reiterate: I am overjoyed that OSU football will be crap for years to come. THRILLED….but I still think it's a shame that a fucking spoiled brat like Pryor is going to be the face of the program's demise. Part of me (a large part), thinks this serves OSU and their moronic fans right.

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