Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Club

I hate to say this, because I am friends with people like this, but I absolutely loath clubbing and people who go clubbing. The club is despicable. 

Typical Night: 

You walk into the place, but only after you had to battle with your patience in order to find parking. Once you pay a $15 valet, or parallel park on some shady ass block and walk, you get to stand in line and pay some big meathead motherfucker a cover charge. The cover charge...holy shit, this might be a bigger scam than college textbooks and extended warranties. Once you're in the douchey club o' douche, it's like a middle school dance where every group just stands there looking at each other while music blares. It stays painfully awkward until these degenerates and skanks get a little tipsy, and that's when the it just from zero to sloppy. the fucking pathetic group of assholes that flock to these places on a regular basis. Every weekend, they have an incessant need to be around other retards in Ed Hardy clothes and too much Lacoste cologne. They have this need for loud, annoying noises. They have this need to be apart of the current trend is further ruining hip-hop. 

They have a need to be seen. 

And not by anyone that matters, but by the scum of every city. Clubrats, tools, gangstas, wannabes, ect....these fucking people are all into different shit, but they're all at the Roxy or Club Drake every Friday, thinking that THAT NIGHT is gonna be so much different than every other night they go out. Good luck with that, Jean-Ralphio. Good luck thinking that being in a club with people whose lives have a negative monetary value, is a worthwhile way to spend your precious years of youth. Good luck giving a rat's ass about "that one time" at Club Whatever-The-Fuck in a few years. Good luck thinking buying hoes drinks is gonna get you anything but Herpes. Good fucking luck.

Closing Thoughts:

-The club is a collection of cheaply produced, loud cliched music. The people who congregate there are just as cliched as the J√§ger-bombs and Miller Lite they're pounding. 

-The women who go to the club regularly are so worthless that they damn near warrant their own blog post. These fucking broads are all the fakest looking bitches I ever seen. Crusty skin and hair from all the tanning and hair product, fake fair and nails, and outfits that BEG for the worst of the worst to come over and hit on them. They wake up every Monday morning ashamed of themselves, as they should be. 

-The men that populate (more like INFEST) these establishments are probably the worst thing about the club. They're just sharks out looking to scheme their way into some borderline rape situations. 

-I don't see the appeal in being literally SURROUNDED by drunk horny strangers. I can't stand people as it is, but put them in a small dark room with some fairy hip-pop like Kanye or Drake playing...and holy shit, people just got a thousand times more unbearable and worthless. Nothing about that is appealing. 

-The club is also full of people, niggas and bitches alike, who are more focused on taking pictures and videos so that they can put it on faggot ass flash: you're hanging out with the same people who are gonna see it on Facebook, and anybody whose not with you, doesn't give a fuck about what you doing that night. Fucking asshole people and their obsession with Facebook....grow the fuck up. 

Like I said, a lot of people I know are going to be slightly offended by what I wrote, but they already know I feel above the club scene and everyone in it. And I ain't that says something!


  1. Be honest did you type all this while standing in line at a club?
    Like the new look of the blog.

  2. Oh shit...that's EXACTLY what it reads like. I hardly ever go to clubs, and it's only when I'm dragged. I can do bars, but not the T-Pain lookalike contests that go on at clubs.

    Really appreciate that man!